Dear Incoming First-years,

    Congratulations!!  I’m glad you’re coming to Mississippi!  It’s a beautiful state with beautiful paradoxes.  Come ready to learn.
    I think I only have two or three pieces of advice.  First, have confidence in yourself.  Your students will not run you out of town or kill you.  They will probably really like and respect you after the first few months, even though they will constantly challenge your authority.  Don’t waste time evaluating if you are up to the challenge (especially in the morning).  You are.  Now get moving.
    The two years will pass.  This means that (a) your hellish days that seem to go on forever won’t, and the endless weeks will pass; and (b) don’t put things off.  Don’t put off going to school functions, talking casually with your students, parents and community members.  Jump at the chance to talk with a neighbor or join in on Mississippi culture and events.  There’s a lot more to do than there seems to be, and it’s tempting to schedule these experiences for “after my grading is done.”
    Related to that is something I’ve learned only recently: organize your physical classroom, bedroom, car, closet, space, whatever.  There is so much potential for chaos in the classroom—papers, behavior, missing assignments, etc—that it helps for your surroundings to be in order.  Just last week I cleaned my desk off completely (first time I’ve ever had a completely empty desk top) and it feels great.  It’s such a silly little thing, but I feel more peaceful because of it.
    I guess that’s really all I have to say.  Fun and beautiful things will happen, and I’m excited for you to come.  Best of luck!
 

Give love to your 3rd years this summer!
A

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      My first attempt at this blog ended after summarizing various miseries on two hand-written pages.  Not even I believe that my MTC experience was that bad.  So, I’ve decided to give voice to the good and the bad equally.

The Facts

• I came straight to Mississippi from Williams’ graduation celebrations.  I arrived voiceless but with a car full of stuff.
• I taught 7th grade math in June Summer School with Tabitha(!), Brad, Polay, and Fiel.   I still wish I could be as good a teacher as Polay.
•  Then I taught Algebra II with Tabitha (!!), Peter, Karl Nastrom, and the Danimal for the July summer session.  The Danimal gave me teaching pointers for the entire bus ride from Holly Springs to Oxford.
• Jamie and I lived in Holly Springs.  Jamie taught Biology at Potts Camp.  She really didn’t like her job and still has a kiddy pool in the back yard.
• I taught Transition to Algebra and Geometry at Holly High for the 2007-2008 school year with Molly and Crystal there, too.
• I taught 8th grade math with Tabitha(!!!), Heather, Karl Mill, and Tomás for 2008 Summer School.
• Kelsey and Michael stayed with me for the summer; Jamie moved out.  Courtney and KJ moved in.
• I teach Geometry, Algebra II, and Trigonometry/PreCalculus at Potts Camp High School.
• Next year I will teach 10th grade math and Game Theory at the Park School in Baltimore.
  

• I got a steady paycheck and accumulated some savings.  I think it’s good to start my adult life with a relatively low salary.  It’s given me good perspective on how to spend, how to save, and when to splurge.  It’s also been a very easy introduction to the adult world because there’s been no salary negotiations or major job-related decisions.  My biggest decision is when to take personal days.  Pretty cool.
• I gained confidence.  I proved to myself that I’m not a quitter, that I have excessive will power, and that I’m (like all of teacher corps) capable of doing wonderful things with little guidance or resources.
• I am comfortable with having and using power.  Two years ago I didn’t enjoy leading from the front—I thought it seemed bossy.  Now, I’m pretty darn comfortable being in charge.  I like being firm and decisive.  I also like reading situations for power dynamics—something that never occurred to me before MS.  This is a skill that will come to good use.
• I met a guy.  He’s very perceptive and very funny.  I’m sure he’s thinking about something important right now.  He doesn’t write on his blog about me, and I don’t really write on my blog about him.  He’s an INFJ; I’m an ENFJ.  I knew he was serious about me when he wrote me a letter in December 2007.
• We have a dog.  Her name is Gopher, and she’s shedding her winter coat.  She wasn’t supposed to stay but she did.  She always cheers me up because she’s happy and goofy.  We go on walks and watch movies together.  She likes Hitchcock and doesn’t like strangers.  I love her a lot!!
• I learned some about southern culture.  I’ve been going to my church’s women’s group.  I enjoy that they call me “chickadee.” I’ve learned a lot about the politics of this group and observed quite a bit of fashion and social norms.  For example: sweatpants + makeup = okay; anything – makeup = you must not be from here.   Also I’ve learned about entertaining, “You may only stack plates if you know better” haha, and have at least two glasses of wine before discussing anything.  And we only do devotionals when the priest is present.  Shh, don’t tell. 
• Related to that, I’ve learned how to cook a little bit southern.  I’ve had to make a few recipes for my church from their cookbook.  I feel closer to the community when I do that—make and eat food the ECW women have been making for years. My church cookbook will be a very dear reminder of my time here, and luckily anything with enough sour cream, mayonnaise, and/or cream cheese is bound to be good.
• I saw much of Mississippi.  Last year I spent quite a few weekends in the delta.  This year I’ve taken some roadtrips to Jackson, Hattiesburg, Biloxi, Belzoni again, and just around.  Mississippi is so beautiful.  Even fields of junk are attractive.  I haven’t taken as many pictures as I should have, but I’m trying to make up for that now.
• I learned to calm down.  I like the pace here.  My Potts Camp students don’t really get worked up about anything, and I like that.  I’m a much more relaxed person than I was two years ago, if you can believe that.  I only really notice it when I go home or have visitors from home, though.  There’s always something to rush to back in Philly.  I like living more calmly here.
• I started learning how to clean.  It sounds terrible, I know, but we never really cleaned our house growing up.  Not that my mom did or a maid did—no one did. Don’t judge.  My mom was a single mom holding the family together and didn’t value cleaning as much as other things.  I remember that she had a magnet on the fridge like, “The dust will be there tomorrow, but your children will grow up” or something like that.  So, well, anyway, now I’m learning! 
• I dropped some pant sizes.  My extra college lbs came off during the first two months of teaching.  They really melted off quickly and then didn’t come back.  Yay for that ☺
• I had visitors.  My first visitor was William from Williams.  He like Holly Springs and then went off to get a Chemistry PhD.  Then came Erin, my best friend since 7th grade.  She came to school with me at Holly High and monitored my students during a quiz.  My favorite Erin moment was when she almost hyperventilated because she was worried she offended BB by giving him the brown crayon.  Then came the Panda, my little sister, who thought MS was boring but had a boy to think about, anyway, and Jenzee, a “bff” from college who taught my Algebra II students about sewage treatment and Flushability, and Tina, my older sister, who mentioned that GSK is working on putting breast tissue in earthworms and my students still ask about “those worms with boobs.”  Next came Laura, the other “bff” from college, to see some sights.  Soon to come are Thomas (welcome to the program!!) and my Mom and StepDad!!!  And Karl’s parents have come three times.  “Darlene!”
• I made some friends.  I’ve written before about the high regard I have for the entire ‘07 MTC class, and I still mean it.  I think you all are a great group of people and I have a lot of respect for everyone.  We’ve got such a range of talents paired with deep love for others.  It’s really neat.
• I started walking for exercise.  Holly Springs is beautiful; I catch up on phone calls and me-time during my walks.
• I learned what healthy foods I’ll eat and what will go bad in my fridge.  Just trial and error over the months.  Oranges will disappear but bananas will rot.
• Students make me laugh. All the time!!  I think my favorite moments have been, “Why do you want it—you’ll just draw a toilet!”  “Twelve!” JH jumping into my closet.  MM’s hair.  TJ’s walk.  LP’s walk.  SS’s loud voice. RL’s haircut. KS’s comebacks.  CR’s antics.  Students always like laughing with the teacher, too.  It’s fun.
• I know a lot of people and get hugs from students at Walmart!  I like hugs.
  
• I was able to do a few identifiable good things.  I helped a girl get into a math summer program and am working with a few others now.  I helped another student get a stand-up comedy gig, but I’m not sure if he’ll follow through with it.  Various students who don’t really fit in anywhere come to my room to relax and feel accepted.  Some shy girls have needed advice every now and then.  Students who wanted to learn math did.  Students who were allowed to sleep through class before my class finally learned something.  I got my PreCal students caught up with their (missing) Algebra II, Trig, and PreCal—they’re ready for Calculus!

• I stopped reading my Bible and practicing spiritual disciplines.  I don’t have a spiritual community.
• I worked too much the first year.
• I am tired almost every day.
• I was reeeeeeeaaallly stressed at Holly High.  My face broke out bad, and I stopped sleeping towards the end.
• Sometimes I was/am lonely.  I miss having a network of close friends who live nearby.
• I lost perspective on the world and my role in it.  The world is bigger than my classroom, and my duty (as a Christian) entails more than schoolwork.
• My house got robbed.
• I didn’t keep in touch with as many people as I would’ve liked to.
• I had to leave Holly High.  I’m sorry I had to leave even though I understand why I did.
• I didn’t make the most of my year at Potts Camp.  Those students are so well behaved and respectful.  It took me too long to trust them enough to do interesting projects.  I could’ve had a much more fun and creative year if I recognized their potential 6 months ago.

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I wonder if I'll ever feel awake and alert all day without caffeine.

I should call my grandmom and Diane.

I get frustrated at my students when they don't understand simple things, but I try not to show it.

I think I have laundry to do but I'm not sure.

Kelsey's wedding will be very beautiful.

Outside it is a gorgeous day.

My mom and step-dad will come to Mississippi for the first time in may.  I know my mom will like it a bunch.  I hope she doesn't try to organize some of my things.  I haven't ever cleaned up this side sun room.  She'll understand if I never do, but we'll have to talk about why I never cleaned it up.

Tomorrow morning I will hear my first alarm at 6:00.  I wonder how many times I'll hit snooze.  It was nice to wake up this morning and feel rested and happy.  Gopher is always happy in the mornings, too.  here is one of my favorite pictures of Gopher.

IMG_0548

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From the Executive Summary:

What will it take to improve MS’s Human Development rankings?

Ensure that working families can make ends meet.
Reduce infant mortality by improving the well-being of girls and women.
Improve the health of African American men.
Improve the quality of public education in Mississippi.
Connect at-risk boys to school.

I agree, but HOW??  Let’s take one specific issue-- keeping boys in school.  Why would a boy stay in school without encouragement from home?  sports and activities?  An engaging curriculum?  a sense of purpose and meaning to school?  Our school systems are already overburdened, understaffed, and underfunded.  All of our districts struggle to do the minimum of busing, feeding, and babysitting students.  To do more than the minimum-- to have multiple sports and inspiring teachers-- requires more than the minimum in staff and funds. 

Bullet point solutions like these frustrate me.  It’s like telling me that I need to have a designer wardrobe to improve my fashion.  Um... okay.  Where do I get the money and access to buy a designer wardrobe?

I know this Executive Summary was meant to be exactly that: a summary, not a solution.  I think it did a great job of clearly displaying what is going on-- white vs black, male vs female, county vs county.   It would be nice, though, to someday read a colorful and well-researched report proposing how to improve, instead of what to improve.

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Maps to learn more about Mississippi: click here!

Map

Map(3)

Map(2)

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Phillips Grocery

Train Depot2

Train Depot

Falling apart

Wall Doxey 1

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Assignment: Describe your class from the perspective of one of your students.  What is your "teacher personality" like?  What is your classroom like?  How do you interact with the students?  Etc.

Response: I'd say that my class is "okay."  I'm patient and helpful.  I "break things down" well.  I like my students and I think they feel liked/cared about.  My teacher personality... very encouraging and straightforward.  I interact with all of my students every day-- whether I check their work or give them extra help or just check in. I am very hands-on.  Too hands-on, I think, since it wears me out.  I think my students would call me moody.  Happy Ms Doyle vs Tired Ms Doyle vs Frustrated Ms Doyle give obviously different reactions to similar situations.  On the whole, though, my classroom feels pretty calm.  Some students consider it boring and resent my gentle approach to things as being too elementary.  Others find it comfortable and enjoy coming. I've got some posters up.  Some student-made posters and projects are falling off of the walls (I don't duct tape during my planning period).  I wouldn't call my class interesting because it only appeals to students who like math because I like math and I don't normally feel the need to make math (which I consider fun) more fun.  There's nothing revolutionary about me or my class.  They come, they work.  I'm a pretty neutral presence in the room-- I'm not an entertainer or anything.  Just kinda the enabler and enforcer.... some days I'm better than others.

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So I've come up with more benefits to realistic grading.  Lately, though, I've begun to see both how far a little confidence goes and how quickly students give up after they receive low grades.  I guess it's all about balance.

other thoughts?

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My response to this article.

First, I need to find and destroy whatever study it is claims that class size does not have a significant effect on student performance.   I understand the point being made (in this article and the study) that an effective teacher is more powerful than the teaching conditions, but I have a feeling that the study was culturally biased.  Of course 15 respectful students sitting quietly will not be much different than 30 respectful students sitting quietly.  But HELLO!!  Places exist where students come to school not accustomed to the sit-down-and-be-quiet school culture.  In these schools, 15 bouncing, yelling students are much easier to manage (and thus teach!) than 30 of them.  Not to mention, students performed noticeably better (and were more engaged) in my 18 person class than in my 36 person class.  That miserable study was not conducted at PCHS, HSHS, or any other critical needs district, so we shouldn't even try to apply its conclusions at our schools.

Alright, to the heart of the matter.  I loved Gladwell's idea to have a teacher apprenticeship system to find truly good teachers.  The fact that teaching allows for a wide range of personalities (the entertainer vs the nurturer) and skill sets (withitness and flexibility vs authority and humor vs organization and dedication etc) makes it impossible to find a secret recipe for a good teacher.  We've even talked about the prediction problem in terms of MTC and now Principal Corps.  It's just nearly impossible to predict who will stay teaching and who will leave before June is over.

 I have no problem "lowering standards" as far as test scores and formal training to invite more people into the profession as long as that change is coupled with a solid evaluation system (even though I don't really care if math teachers can write term papers, I do care that they can use proper grammar and know who the president is). But the kicker of it all was Gladwell's final question:

 What does it say about a society that it devotes more care and patience to the selection of those who handle its money than of those who handle its children?

Nothing in public education's history suggests that it will go to great lengths to find the best (or even good) teachers.  The system being proposed is not a shortcut (and public education craves shortcuts like Dauwalter craves Laffy Taffy).  What I mean is, I highly doubt teacher training and selection will be overhauled for the sake of improvement.  On the whole, public education is functioning.  Public education (public anything) does not move from decent to great voluntarily.  So even if this is a perfect plan, I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for its implementation.

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My second period came in quietly, sat down in the correct seats, opened up their books, began their warm-ups.  They listened respectfully as I outlined the day's lesson, and it made me sad.

"How long has BB been suspended?" I asked.

"Permanently."  KJ handed out calculators.

On Monday, BB got in his second fight of the school year.  This was his first year back to Potts Camp after being expelled for bad behavior two years ago.  Rumor has it that his time here was probationary... in other words, two fights is one and a half too many.

Honestly, I'm okay with my students settling down quicker and listening closer now that BB is not in the room.  One troubled student can quickly derail a lesson and distract the eagerly distracted.

But what happens to BB?  Like so many of my HSHS students, BB is well-intentioned, smart, and caring... and uncensored, loud, and energetic.  Potts Camp was a great place for BB to grow and succeed because he never slipped through the cracks-- all of the teachers know him, his family, his history, and his missing homework assignments.  If BB stayed at Potts Camp, he would graduate and probably go on to college should he cooperate with our amazing school counselor.

But now that he's not here? 

This is how it works: Potts Camp is a highly functioning school.  It functions so well partly because students who do not behave according to policy (ie by fighting) are expelled or taken to jail or get tired of being in trouble and transfer.  That means that the students who would most benefit from the structured and respectful environment at Potts Camp do not or cannot stay in the school.  But what good is a good school if it can't help BB?

How do we make good schools for the emotionally unbalanced/unparented/overly energetic students?  It's like that silly quote, "I wouldn't want to be a member of any club that would take me."  Who said that?  Karl says Marx Brothers.  Anyway.   What I mean by that is, I don't want BB at any school that would take him.  He belongs at a school that is so highly functioning that it would kick him out. 

BB will have his best chance of success at schools that won't keep him.  Something's wrong here.

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